Twelve

With the last embrace long forgotten,

Arms still cradling your silhouette

Tingle with atrophy.

Eyes completely black in concentration

I impose beauty upon you.

Every crack in your skin, every wound…

You absolutely glow with warm red light bled from many men.

So when you lay your hands upon me-

I crackle and my pulse slows- then quickens.

Losing my train of thought,

The palms of your hands sliding down my back feel all at once rough and turn my skin raw.

Your lips are as broken glass and cut deeper as your passion increases.

Utterly devoid of inner strength to contain the delicate beauty draining from your person,

I gaze upon you.

And sink deeper in love.

 

Moonshine in a Gold Cup

Chasing it so far that my stocking is torn and my breath is ragged.

I doused nearby lilies in the scant amount of kerosene that remained in my pocket.

The trees lit up with deep purple electricity in judgement.

For a moment my mind rolled past my object of desire.

I could smell it’s tracks beyond the crackling moisture.

Focus reaffirmed it’s grip on my legs and I ran.

Until I could no longer see the crest of either mountain. I ran.

And all at once, sitting upon an old wooden fence, there it was.

Machinery blasted nearby somewhere but it did not flinch from the sound.

It winked and beckoned me close.

Knowing my goal, it beckoned me anyways.

It took my hand and without knowing why, red infringing on my mind,

I snatched it back and ran in horror. 

Ten

I place in his hands with the gentle ease I’ve summoned,

Remnants of flowers.

Dead and dry. Brittle yet fragrant.

Unable to allow words to tumble from my lips,

my eyes explode with a desperate desire for understanding.

I break out in sweat. Air leaves my lungs in a galloping rhythm.

“This. Is important.”

My shadow grows so dark it inks the wall. Frozen, it depicts my outstretched hands in a cradle.

I push all of my weight into him until my heart is beside his heart. Raw. Constantly dripping life.

“This. Is important.”

Pieces of flowers drift from his grasp- becoming lost in the air like so many souls of the past.

He doesn’t understand it is important.

 

Te Sakam

Completed with hurt and pain, a boy set out to find love.

Half-blind with misunderstandings he could only recognize a glimpse.

A glimpse of connectivity or the subtle brushing back of  girl’s hair.

The boy’s head began to throb, time was ticking exponentially.

Mist filled his senses and he started to choke.

Until he saw the silhouette of a young girl skating around him in loose figure eights.

He leaped before her and ripped his heart from his chest and put it at her feet. He told her his secrets, entwined his fingers with hers and told her of his impending doom.

She sat, cross-legged beside him and invited him to lay his head pounding with fear on her lap. She looked down the bridge of his nose to see a single tear of relief falling.

He had transformed the branches of her pathway to a single road. Dusty and well worn with footsteps. He asked would she travel with him, he could not walk alone.

She slid her tongue along the edge of her teeth and nodded her head, yes.

The pain in his head subsided and he wrapped her in translucent pink gauze for the journey.

Walking on her right side, never looking at her, only ahead, he sensed soldiers of an unknown army running in the woods beside them.

Shaking with panic, he threw her to the ground. Accusations shot from his fingertips and encircled her wrists. She ran through every word she knew to say love. She told him in every language that had ever been spoken. She loved him, she loved him.

He pulled her up slowly. But it was not the same anymore. The love was gone now. Alarms screeched from somewhere, he had set them to go off now.

He gave her one last glance and ran back from whence he came. He needed to find love once again.

A hand against the side of his head. He ran until he found it.

 

Six

Her breath is heavy and woven with impatience.

I can’t help but feel her expectations.

Her need is drowning me. If I cared to look closer I would see that she’s drowning too.

I know I can never deliver all the comfort and reassurance she craves.

I can hear her speaking to me from somewhere within my body.

Her scent permeates my pores.

I hate her, for she makes me want to save her.

Her beautiful eyes, so deep, so lipid, so tortured beneath it all.

She’s sitting there – loving me.

Loving every single thing about me. Thinking about me every moment. Her presence is all at once around me like a fog.

I can no longer see or think clearly.

My head pounds with all the loved ones banished to the recesses of my mind.

I blame her, the blame is overwhelming. It cuts my skin, turning it gnarled and ugly. It never touches her.

She’s ethereal yet soaked with flaws. Mistakes and regret drip from her eyelashes.

She cries and my anger melts away.

I want so badly to touch the curve of her face. I’m frightened to sit too close – I know she’ll never let me go.

She’s hurt much too long-

She’s been fractured beyond repair-

Why can’t I look away from her face?

All at once I know, I’ll never leave.

I’ll never stop reaching for her, trying to lift her out of her deep pain. Never stop fighting every single shadow and ghost that haunts her. Night upon night.

And in the moment that the certainty of that thought occurs-

Dread and horror inevitably follow.

She has me now, I’m lost with her. I cease to be.

I should have refused to sit with myself.

 

Canucks Jersey

Bare legs dangling from the bed with indecision,

Led to mischievous wandering through fog and mud,

Dark and clear, shining.

Superfluous glamour with fingertips sliding past my lips,

Remaining wide-eyed craving.

Diving deep into tepid decisions,

Autumn comes quick and suddenly,

Brisk, red, forgetful.

Chewing on an unpainted nail, blowing air toward my right eye…

Look to the side, studying.

I was kept safe today.

Seven

He inhaled with a sharp wheeze,

Flames licked upon the back of his neck – he shakes his head.

He eyes began to film over and he no longer saw her.

She phased, contorted, became less than she was, had a hold of more than she did.

He used her tears as ammunition, her pauses as admissions of guilt she was unaware hung on her shoulders.

He danced her off her spinning platform and she found herself continually spinning.

Shotgun, oxygen depleted he saw her and couldn’t for all the length of his arms steady the frenzy which was pooling around her

Everything bigger than them knew what would crumble and what would not.

Yet could only watch each synapse come alive and die out, and not utter a word.

He was left with confusion brushing past him. Racing in a direction not knowing if he was running to or from.

She was left clinging to the hard concrete road – hoping that when she opened her eyes, the world would be still,

once again.