Acceptance, Love, Open Mindedness and Whores

Goodnight!! Remember, spread a little love out there people See you in the morn xoxoxo (4 photos)
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    Douglas likes this.
     
  • Eric  Ah, so THAT’S what they mean when they say girls love to get flowers.
     
  • You know there’s a lotta kids on this fb.if your goina show your a road whore do it some were else.
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Is a road whore like a regular whore with a car?
  • You know wat I’m talkin about shauna .I’ve done and been a lota things But I never put things like this in front of kids.you should be ashame of yourself.and your a mother
     
  • Eric  Hey Shauna, I think we found the douche^ who reported the pics of your kid.
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn There’s nothing wrong with sexuality and the human body. It’s natural and beautiful. I’m not ashamed at all. If sex and nakedness makes a woman a whore then every mother in the world is a whore. Go whores!!
  • No eric I did not and I don’t know wat your talkin about but if you are bout of you wat to throw down I am your man.
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Oh it’s fine. A different generation, a different state, extreme conservatism, people are just different. You just shouldn’t judge others. Even Christians believe that right?
  • Eric  “…but if you are bout of you wat…” Basic English isn’t your strong point, huh?  Internet tough guy, lol.
  • Woman you are so wrong.it is a beautiful thing.but the pictures in front of kids is won’t I’m talkin about airnt you smort enough to see that
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn No fighting Uncle Jesse. I’m not a whore. My kids are fine. If someone doesn’t like my pictures then they shouldn’t let their kids look at my page. The pictures are designed to make people feel good.
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Just being me.
  • Sara  You airnt smort enough…
  • Oh no iam a tuff guy unlike you puss.I may not spell very well but I have alway and can still back back up everything I say.I’ve kick over and seen wat you look like and you ain’t much .any knock can talk thrish from up there
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Yes yes I’m an unsmort whore who’s corrupting a nation of children and Uncle Jesse is going to Internet fight Eric. Does that mean Monday is over yet?
     
  • No I’m not fighting with the little pussy .but I can
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Now Uncle Jesse, name calling is worse than half naked people. Let’s spread some love on this lovely beginning of the week shall we?
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn I love you, you love me but think I’m a whore and I’m ok with that, Eric and Sara like naked people too and I love them and they love me. All our kids love us. Do you SEE all the love around here?? It’s great. Besides, that one girl in the pic had great boobs. Huh, huh? That’s gotta put a little pep in your step 🙂
  • Eric Hey Jesse, if you have to tell people you’re a tough guy, you probably aren’t.  I live in ****, OH.  Look me up when you get to town.  Of course, that means you’ll need to be able to read road signs, and map directions.  Your prospects of doing that successfully seem dubious (dubious means doubtful). 

    All I know about you is that you’re practically illiterate and willing to call people a whore for some fairly tame pictures posted to their own wall, not yours.  Who are these imaginary kids she’s corrupting with those images anyway?  Sounds to me like you’re a large’ish asshole who hates his own life so much that he spends most of his time sitting around drinking, feasting on the regrets of his mis-spent youth, and trying to drag others down into the shit spittoon he calls a life. 

    Like I said, look me up when you get to town and I’ll be happy to test your mettle. (Mettle in this case means personal strength and willingness to back up the blank check your mouth just wrote).

  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Eric you meant to say you love everyone right? Right. Uncle Jesse is my good friend’s Uncle. He’s a war hero and he lives in Texas. Different world. He’s usually a very nice man he just doesn’t like boobies I’m guessing. P.S. Is it wrong I think the word mettle is sexy? Is that adding fuel to the fire?
     
  • Eric  Oh shit, he’s from Texas?  Man, that explains SOOOO much.  LOL!  I mean, sure Shauna, I love everyone.  😉  Heavy metal mettle medal.
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn Aww I got deleted. How does this spring from trying to be positive….. Whores need Facebook friends too 😦
     
  • Eric My apologies if I was too gruff with Moses.
     
  • Eric I really envy your patience and ability to not let me people rile you up…especially people that are so blatantly trying, like him.
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn You can’t be mad at an entire culture of people that believes things like that. I just hope some of them open their minds a little more to love and kindness. Holy fuck we have SO much hate and judging in this world. It’s a BODY. He has one, you have one, I have one. To be appalled at it in an artistic photo means what for our society? That this is a worse thing than war, crime, hate and bullying? I think it’s beautiful. In my opinion only.
     
  • Shauna Simpson Shinn I don’t care if my kids see a naked body. At all. Bad mother award?
     
  • Eric  I think he’s just an old fart who doesn’t understand how FB works.  He seems to think that any kid can see your profile and that’s what he took exception with….but his opening position was calling you a whore, and that just seems..I dunno, asinine?  Maybe that’s too polite a word for it.
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You’ve Lost Weight Since I’ve Seen You Last

Regained a good friend today.

Technically if we’re going by my account of things, we never stopped being friends. If you go by his version it may be different I’m not sure. In the course of our, what? Four-five year friendship we have fallen apart from each other a few times. Once because he loved me too much, once because I loved him too much and a few times because we didn’t like the people the other surrounded himself or herself with.

But. We always came back to our friendship. It was very deep and in my opinion it couldn’t be broken. The problem now is that I’m very on edge about it, fearing we may drift in opposite directions again. I’m nervous to invest even with my previous investment still sitting in no man’s land.

This led me to thinking though. If you experience the same thing from a relationship (friendship or otherwise) over and over again…. do you guard yourself without realizing it? Do you hold back in fear of the same bad patterns repeating themselves once again? Can you trust?

I figure most of the time you try, but to some extent subconsciously, you can’t help but to guard yourself.

 Caring for and loving people is a tricky business. Especially with friends. There are just so many other people influencing every moment you relate. Different opinions. Different experiences. It’s a wonder you can find anyone in this world you can single out and call them your true friend.

Myself, I’ve been hurt by friends and others more times than I could count. Frankly, if I had guarded myself more I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. But it also wouldn’t have been authentic. You can accuse me of many things, heck go ahead call me crazy if you’d like but you can’t say I’m not real. And if you’re my friend and I love you, no matter what you and I have been through or how many tears and sleepless nights you may have caused me….. I don’t change how I feel. That subconscious guarded wall may or may not be there but that isn’t something I can control, hopefully it doesn’t change things too severely.

So leap of faith again. I’m going to sleep now, hopefully in the morning I haven’t lost any friends or gained any enemies. I put love out there in the hope that it’s mostly what I’ll get back.

 

The Landscape Breakdown

So what happens when something you’re fiercely loyal to and vow to honor for all time…. completely changes from what it once was? Are you still going to be loyal? Should you pretend nothing has changed?

I’ve lived in the same city since I was born. I’ve moved here and there but I’ve always ended up back home. I love my home.

Side note that I’m a very one track person with a loyalty complex. Meaning…. I shop at one grocery store because that’s where my dad shopped, I keep the same cable company even though it’s more expensive because they have always treated me well, I eat the same brands of foods as I remember from my childhood… I don’t usually change these things…..

So my home. I love what I remember and what I’ve experienced. Beautiful nature pairing with a exuberant city life. Easy to drive highways. Gorgeous get-aways. A great respect for history all over the city. Activities all your friends and families have done at some point in their lives. Friendly people everywhere. People move away as they inevitably do, and I scoff at them as disloyal fools. Why move from your home? The greatest place on earth!

There have been changes, sure. The 711 changed into a rug store, the Save-On Foods got renovated and all the video stores closed. I don’t like it but I expect it.

But in the last five years, the city that I love has had an extreme makeover and I don’t know what I’m looking at anymore. We hosted the Olympics a few years back so there was a major increase in construction. But now construction is ten times worse then that even. Every bridge, every highway, every major road. It’s not like we are a small town experiencing a population boom, we’re the third largest city in the country and still we expand like this with no more room and too many people.

Tolls added to everything. Traffic is hideous in every direction, even going ten minutes away in my “quiet” area. Neighborhood institutions are disappearing at an alarming rate. You can hardly say. “I remember when…” anymore. And the people! They are becoming jaded and rude and… hardened. Everyone is a snob about something. The rich, the artsy, the working man, the media….

I don’t see my home anymore. The streets I used to walk are no longer lined with little store brimming with personality but these impersonal condos. We have too many people and nowhere to put them. We’ve closed all of our mental health institutions and the downtown core is teeming with ill people causing more crime, sexual disease, drug use….

I’m racked with guilt that after 27 years of swearing my allegiance to this city, I want to leave. And I’m completely sad that my kids will never know the beautiful home I wanted to give them. Not that I could afford it here, did I mention we have the most expensive real estate in the entire country?

Does it make me disloyal? Or is perhaps this city the one that broke the bond between a girl and her home?

And This I Don’t Understand

I need some intense change in my life.

I posted on Facebook that I needed something to change but I wasn’t sure what. Responses from family and friends echoed the same sentiment. Don’t wait for it, make the change. Be the change. Sounds great and I’m sure I would tell someone that exact same advice.

But what the HELL does that mean?

I’m not happy in life and I want things to be different…. so yeah I’ll make a change right now! But what? And how? And when? I have no clue what to do. So telling me I need to make a change, alright I agree with you. But can you tell me exactly how I might do that?

Is it a change of attitude or understanding that makes the difference? How do I do that? Should I have an epiphany? What exactly brings that on? Where exactly do I find happiness? Oh. Within me? Oh great! Wait…. but it’s there and yet I’m still not happy. Could someone please help me work on my own personal step by step guide to this?

Like:

Step One: Do this.

Step Two: Now do this.

Yeah I know, life isn’t that easy and I need to figure it out for myself. But it’s so frustrating being as old as I am and still not knowing what to do. I thought I’d be a well adjusted 16 year old with her life together and now I’m 27, have two kids, a turbulent relationship and I still want my life to change so we can all be happy.

I know it can happen. But how?

This I don’t understand.  

The Facebook Theory

Now I’m not talking about why Facebook was invented, we all saw The Social Network. I’m not talking about it becoming a public company, its advertising or apps or anything like that. I’m talking about the idea we have of Facebook, how we would want it to work in theory.

It strikes me as I sit here having just made a status post that I thought was mildly interesting that I care way more than I probably should about receiving “likes” or comments on said post.

I went to a party recently and a friend said, “I love your Facebook posts!” Really? Well I’m flattered but really? I post from the boring, “I just made a sandwich”, to the political, “Rabble rabble rabble… to the personal, “My husband is a dick…” Well no, they are more eloquent than that most of the time but still, why would anyone LOVE them? I know. Because I put my whole life out there to be picked apart. And people are shocked sometimes. I have 90’s Howard Stern moments.

But the reason I post and share and participate in the phenomena that is the giant of our lives, Facebook (bow in awe), is for a deeper and more profound meaning. I want to be loved. I want this space where I’m surrounded by people who I know and cherish and that care about me. Actually truly care. So there is this cyber place where I can word vomit to 500 of my “friends” and they are all going to care right? I’m going to put personal sometimes the most vulnerable information on Facebook and every single one of them is going to care and love me anyways. Right?

In theory.

We are now this culture of sharing every single moment in our lives. Facebook, Youtube, Intagram, the now defunct MySpace…. because we want the world to see our unique selves for everything we are and love us. It’s a valid theory. Given the strength and bravery of sitting behind a computer screen we can be honest or maybe skew the truth in our favour and then we can sit back and watch the masses rally around us in this show of support and solidarity and awe that we are so unique and they never knew! Wow!

But in truth…. human nature comes out. And human nature is a bipolar and scary thing. As much or maybe more than we are capable of acceptance and understanding we too are capable of hateful hateful things. As the computer or smart phone or tablet gives us the bravery to bare our soul it also allows us to release our demons on poor unsuspecting souls that just wanted you to like them. They didn’t want the judgement or the hate or the indifference. They never knew that’s what they might get.

Now, I have had mainly positive times on Facebook. Some relationships have gotten closer and it gives me this sense (maybe falsely so) that I’m hanging on to those co-workers or family members or school mates that I used to be friendly with. But that theory that my page will be this meeting place of all this positive love for me….. well THAT never quite happened. I get as much flack for my posts as I do praise. But you know what? I’m me on there as I am on here, perhaps skewed in moments of weakness but for the most part…. you get me.

But here is the fatal fatal flaw with The Facebook Theory. You could have the largest, most close knit group of friends on this social media site. They love every pic you post, only kind and supportive words for you. But at the end of the day you find absolutely no solace in their good will because you wish it was at your front door instead of your newsfeed.